After a few day break, I am back. The past few days I have been busy with traveling and an internship program with my college that I have been investing my time in. My internship class for the past few days has been from 8AM-5PM, and when I wasn't in the internship program, I have been trying to squeeze my extra free time into driving to the Pittsburgh area to see my girlfriend. And the thought of looking at a screen more to blog was not too attractive- considering that during my internship training program I am staring at a screen all day long. (I need to invest in some of those blue-light glasses people have- considering I want to pursue a life of writing- and that writing now is all computer work.)
Life has been very fast paced the past few days, but a good type of fast paced. A fast paced schedule/time that you can not focus on the bad things in life and instead focus your brain on the task that you are on in the present. My happiest time is when I have my hands full with projects, tasks, and activities. I love it when I am all over the place.
But, the good thing for me is that for the rest of my adult life, my life will be hectic and busy. I have graduated from the point in my life when I have virtually nothing going on. I will always have a job, then a family, responsibilities, bills, trips, etc.
But I am the happiest when I am completing the task at hand with a team of others.
I want to take a break from all the "inspirational" and "advice" posts that I have been blogging about. It is important to be a positivist and a motivator, but it is just as important to be down-to-earth and grounded.
The main topic that has been on my mind for the past few days is the topic of friendship. Friendship is a topic that I have always thought about and always had different life experiences with. I have been through times that I was so popular amongst my friend group(s) and I have been through times where I had no friends. I have been through times that I have had very surface level/fake friends, and I have been through times, like now, where I have solid, deep friendships.
What about friendship is important?
Human connections are about some of the most important things in life. The human species would never have been able to survive on this planet if it weren't for the team work that our ancestors had. Countries couldn't have been established, cities wouldn't have been built, inventions wouldn't have been made. The human species would have been extinct in days if it weren't for the common good of social interaction and accomplishment.
I was always a child that had tons of friends. Growing up in elementary school and middle school, I had this one large group of friends that I did everything with. That was my first experience being in such a large group of guys that I could rely on for anything. And in a little subgroup of friends within that large friend group of about 10 people, I had my few best friends that I still talk with to this day.
Then, I moved schools going into 9th grade. I transferred from my small school experience in Annapolis, Maryland, to an all-boys college preparatory school in Baltimore, Maryland. I left my large group of friends and was placed into an environment where I would have to make all new friends, and I sort of went into a depression because it was very overwhelming. And then for the first few years of my High School experience, I was without friends. I went to school, went to my sport, and came home every single day- sometimes with only talking to a few people each day.
I went from having so many friendships and human connections to having almost none at my High School. Now looking back, my freshman year of High School was probably one of the most depressing years of my life. Not depressing because of anything that happened to me- there was no death, no diagnoses, and nothing that would make me feel depressed. It was only about the fact that I was having no human interactions through the course of my day. And then, my depression would get worse because each day I kept on lacking connections with my peers. I felt like an outsider. I felt friendless and I started to view life as a very dark, scary place. I saw a side of the world that nobody should ever see, a very lonely and quiet realm.
Then, as time went on and I started working some jobs during the weekends in High School, I made more friends and was able to lift myself out of the depression that I was in.
Friendships and relationships are some of the greatest parts of life. We share laughs, stories, experiences, memories, and love with one another. We get to have shared pain with one another, too, so we do not feel as lonely. Humans were NEVER intended to be alone. Humans have a necessity for social growth and maturity with one another. Just as important as it is to have social connections with people younger and older than us, it is VITALLY important that we are friends with people that are of our own age. We need eachother and others that are of our own age that we can relate to.
There have been so many instances where I would never have been able to get through life without friends (the greatest example of this, at this point of my life, is in college. With all of the difficult homework assignments and projects, FRIENDS ARE A NECESSITY in college.)
Friends are for when you are in a crunch and you need a helping hand. Friends are for when you are having a rough day: that you can spend some time with them to get your mind off things and have a few laughs (and maybe a few drinks too). Friends are for when you need to get a job done but two hands just isn't enough. Friends are for when something life shattering happens and you need a crutch. Friends keep you on your two feet. Friends listen to you and try to understand and comfort you. Friends are for when your car breaks down late at night and you are stranded on the side of the road and need somebody. (If these traits don't sound like traits your own friends have, then they aren't your real friends.)
One of my favorite songs in the world is by Tracy Lawrence titled "Find Out Who Your Friends Are" and the chorus sings,
Find Out Who Your Friends Are,
Somebody's Gonna Drop Everything,
Run out and Crank Up Their Car,
Hit the Gas, Get There Fast,
Never Stop To Think 'What's In it For Me?'
Or "It's Way Too Far"
They Just Show on up,
With Their Big Ol' Heart
Friends do not always mean your best friends or people you are always with. A 'friend' can be somebody that sits next to you in Calculus class. Sometimes, I would refer to these people as "school friends", because you never usually see or talk to them outside of class, but you still have mutual bond to get the work done.
The gift of human connection is one of the greatest parts about life. As much as it could be tempting to want to isolate yourself in your room and have some alone time, it is so incredibly important that you are spending your time on earth with other people. That is how we grow mentally, physically, and spiritually. (An example of how I grow 'physically' when I am around friends is that I would never go to the gym if it wasn't for my one friend in college. We lift every single day and we hold each other accountable. If it wasn't for a "lifting buddy", the odds of me going to workout alone are slim to none. We push eachother to be the best people that we possibly could be and never slack off.)
I cannot stress the importance of being friendly (or friends) with as many people possibly in life. One day, you might need them or they might need you. It is just as important as being nice to virtually everybody. There have been so many instances where being nice to everyone has paid off greatly.
So, if you are reading this blog post, it is a sign. Even if you do not want to, this is a sign to TEXT that friend. CALL that friend. Don't ditch your friends for a night of Netflix. Say hi to that person you are sitting next to in Philosophy class. Drum up conversations with that person who works in the same office as you.
The prize of human connection cannot be bought with money. It is one of the greatest parts of being human, so TAKE ADVANTAGE of this gift and put it to good use. Take a risk. Talk to that person- because that person who you decide to talk to could be struggling just as much as I was freshman year of High School.
We are all humans together and we all experience the same emotions and same pains.
I better log off now before I lose my vision from staring at a screen all day. My eyes are going a little bit blurry now.
-TJO
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