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The Uncertainty of the Future

It has almost been a week since my last post!  I convinced myself that I was going to post every single day since I made the blog, but then life hit, and here I am a week since I wrote last.  But I have so much to catch up on!

Within the last week, I have been back and forth to Pittsburgh, DC, Annapolis, Long Island, and New York City.  I pretty much never want to have to see a truck again in my life (driving alongside cars is fine with me- but it is the trucks that drive aggressively that I can't stand.). And, in the past week of driving around the East Coast of the United States, I did it all with my travel sidekick (a.k.a. my girlfriend) and we shared many laughs, stories, and rants through it all. 

One morning, my Aunt was driving my girlfriend and I in the car to the nearby Long Island Railroad train station to go to NYC. My aunt looks at me, at my girlfriend, and then at me again and says "Tyler, you really did find your partner, didn't you? She has a wanderlust spirit just like you!"  And it is true, I really did find my life-long travel companion. We never get tired of each other, either!

But after seeing so many cities and towns in the short period of a week, I had my "travel" fix and now I am excited to stay close to home, away from Covid's hands, and spend time with family, decorate, and do things that I like to do. 

On my way home from my girlfriend's house today, I got a phone call from an employer about a possible internship opportunity and I was OVER THE MOON about it.  They offered me an "in person interview" that I could come into one of the branches and meet the team.  This really spiked my excitement and my mood!

But then, as I got home and opened my laptop, I went down a rabbit hole and now I have a headache.  I am worried that I am not going down the correct path for a writing career.  I am worried that I might get a job that has nothing to do with writing and cater to my creative side.  Then, I start looking at what others think I should be doing- and then I am left with my laptop closed and me staring at my ceiling in a trance of unknowingness.  Did I major in the wrong thing?  Will I be wasting my passion and my gift of writing and creativity if I choose to pursue an internship in a different career path?

I am tired of my mind being one big mush ball.  I am tired of being so unsure about my future.  I am tired of trying to plan my entire future in the first place.  (One of my favorite quotes is from a country song that says "You make plans and then you hear God laughing".)

So here I am, writing this post on my blog after a week or traveling and trying to get my mind off things.  But for the time being with me at home, I am going to try my best to live in the present.  Do what I love to do, whether it be reading or writing or Spanish, and wait for the doors to open themselves by God. 

Here's to the future of unknowingness and worry.  Here's to knowing where our passions lie but having zero clue where to start to build our dreams.  We all got this together. 

-TJO  

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